4.30.2007

history

A patient's history is as important as their symptoms.
It's what helps us decide if heartburn's a heart attack...
if a headache's a tumor.
Sometimes patients will try to rewrite their own histories.
They'll claim they don't smoke,
or forget to mention certain drugs...
which in surgery can be the kiss of death.
We can ignore it all we want,
but our history eventually always comes back to haunt us.

_*_*_*_

Some people believe that without history,
our lives amount to nothing.
At some point we all have to choose:
do we fall back on what we know,
or do we step forward to something new?
It's hard not to be haunted by our past.
Our history is what shapes us, what guides us.
Our history resurfaces time after time after time.
So we have to remember sometimes the most important history
is the history we’re making today.

[grey's anatomy s3ep20]

_*_*_*_

"Some of the best lessons are learned from past mistakes.
The error of the past is the wisdom of the future."
- Dale Turner

"Tragedy is a tool for the living to gain wisdom,
not a guide by which to live."
- Robert F. Kennedy

_*_*_*_

i've been in the hospital enough times to know
that my medical history matters;
they ask the same questions each time i go back in...
from my name, ic number,
what kind of drugs i'm allergic to,
what operations i've underwent,
when, where, by whom,
what's the pain like,
where's the pain,
do i smoke, to when was the last time i pooped,
etc etc etc...

so i do know the importance of my medical history,
and history per se...
lest they give me something that'll kill me instead of make me better.
how come i still feel haunted by it then?
my history is important,
regardless of how much it sucks.
yet i dread it so much,
every little bit of it...
and especially when people can use it against me,
prevent me from moving forward,
moving on.
it sucks...coz ur past don't matter actually...
until someone else thinks it does.
and u're left helpless, disappointed,
coz there ain't a thing u can change...
and so the only thing left to do is
to hope that today won't be a history
that will come haunt u tmr...
to hope for new beginnings and chances,
a new life that will make the old one pale in comparison.

one can only hope...

Posted by jing at 4/30/2007 04:45:00 PM

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